I’m not going to pretend like I don’t partake in the devil’s lettuce every once in a while. Pizza, (
illegal downloads) Netflix and a quick toke is my way of winding down after a long week. When I had the choice of either Singapore or Phnom Penh for my recent border run there was no doubt where I was going. Phnom Penh had Happy Pizza, two of my favourite things combined, how could I not? This isn’t some “when in Rome” story. I specifically came to Phnom Penh to get happy, really really happy.
Before we go on: Mary Jane is, in fact, illegal in Cambodia unless it is used as a herb in cooking. This doesn’t stop shifty men out the front of happy pizza places trying to sell you a bag for $10 or bars selling pre-rolled joints. It’s up to you if you buy it, just be sensible. Don’t smoke it in public places and if you do get caught by the police a nice hefty bribe will usually fix the problem.
The night started in some seedy bar down near the riverside where I was presented with a list of joints and strains that were sold there. Why doesn’t everywhere do this!? I thought to myself. After receiving a perfectly rolled joint that you just know some poor old lass is sat out the back rolling them day in day out for barely enough to feed her kids and paying way more then I should have for the “chronic” stuff (the price of convenience ehh), I decided it was time to take a stroll down the river with a slight buzz to find somewhere to try the infamous Happy Pizza.
It’s not hard to find places that sell the delicacy, it’s written all over the signs and people will be out the front trying to usher you in. The menus are simple, you have different kinds of pizza which usually are around $4-$5 USD and then you can choose the amount of happy you add. I ordered a pepperoni pizza add happy and a coconut shake add happy. I would highly recommend you order a passionfruit shake even without the happy it’s still delicious and really refreshing in the hot Cambodian weather.
The Happy Pizza took about 15 minutes to come out, which made me think they were actually making it fresh and not just because S.E Asian service is generally slow. I was happy with my Happy Pizza (haaa). It wasn’t a high-quality Italian pizza but still better than that frozen shit you cook when you’re wrecked and dare I say it, even better than dominoes. The base was thin, with a nice crisp. Good ratio of sauce to cheese and the toppings were actually visible.
A little after my pizza I decided I was hungry, I’m not sure if it was the impact of the weed or if I’m just a fatty, more then likely the latter. I decided to stop in at this Mexican place that had $1 tacos, $1!! I ordered three because, refer to my last statement. After absolutely inhaling them I strolled back to my apartment and waited for the full effect of my Happy Pizza to hit me.
I knew the way edibles impacted the body, even still I decided to read up about how other peoples experiences with Happy Pizza went. A lot of people said it took a couple of hours to kick in and they would end up sleeping for 12 hours plus.
I had waited a few hours and had yet to hit that high I was looking for. I decided to smoke one more joint before deciding to go to bed. I’m not saying I didn’t get high and I’m some kind of weed god, of course, I got a little buzz but after the amount, I had consumed I expected I would be fully retarded. I did, however, have a very nice and refreshing 8 hour sleep. It may impact other people differently, but for me, it just wasn’t worth it.